My ‘Tune In Tuesday’ is slowly morphing into ‘Wiped Out Wednesday’
Life is running at a pace of 3 B’s right now, well mostly the first time, a push and pull between Busy and Balance. I have been at a high rate of Busy due to projects coming to fruition all at once, the necessity of taking on more work because money, and Busy is amplified by the need for Balance. I can put in an 8 to 10 hour day of ‘Writing and Stuff’ but when the kids come home, it’s all about them. Homework time, dinner, snuggling, etc. Oh and somewhere in there, I have to wedge household chores. Tuesdays have been a particularly bad day for balance since it is my one day a week with the car. But you make it work. And when you can’t make it work, well, then you need to Breathe.
This weekend, a Breather was a necessity. I am a survivor. I have reached a point in my life where I can talk about it with my therapist, over two decades after it happened. But there are times I still have nightmares about it. And watching the Kavanaugh proceedings left me raw. There are a lot of terrible things to spring out of this, especially with a president who excels at creating a mentality of misplaced victimhood, but it watching Dr. Ford’s testimony and how they attempted to dismantle and dismiss that testimony that particularly hurt.
So I took a Breath. It wasn’t about ignoring the situation. Believe me, I am still full of simmering rage. I will pour my rage into words and words and words. Elections are coming. Vote.
No this was about removing myself for a toxic surrounding and finding my footing. Social Media is wonderful for a lot of things but it also turns into a raging cesspit at the flip of a coin. And after that mess, I knew I wasn’t getting anything near productive done. So I read. I snuggled frequently with my kiddos. I curled up in a cuddle pile with my family and I soaked in that calm. It is important to Breathe, to recharge, or Busy and Balance goes right out the window in a whirlpool of boundless anxiety. A Breath lets me refocus, and settle that churning sensation in my gut until I can channel it into something useful.
I really enjoy this German Band. The whole Book of Nature Album is worth a listen and is just beautiful to be honest.
This weekend I read what has become a yearly read through of Kelley Armstrong’s Darkest Powers Trilogy. I honestly don’t know what it is about these particular books that has me so enamored…oh who am I kidding it’s totally Chloe and Derek.
2 weeks ago
This weekend brought up a lot of complicated feelings about my family dynamic as we honored the life of my grandmother, the only grandmother I knew, though we were related by blood.
She passed late last year. I’ve mourned. But this weekend blindsided me.